Random Jobsian pic,

Via iPhone Savior, 100 Pieces of Steve Jobs Art In One Epic Collage

The Macelope’s take on Microsoft’s new PC v Mac page,

The web page they’ve set up is quintessential Microsoft in that it feels like a paunchy, balding, Corvette-driving divorcé giving you advice on “keepin’ it real.” Just look at the coolness dripping off the page! The vaguely Mediterranean stock photo girl with an indoor hammock is smiling at you so you know a PC is better than a Mac, dude! Join the soft rock party!

And when the Macalope said “setting the record straight” he actually meant “setting the record so vague as to not even mention their own products.”

Ohhh comfy,

And check out this guy… I guess he won’t be joining Cupidtino any time soon.

The iPad is da bomb!

The US Army isn’t the only security force adopting Apple’s iOS devices for training and military operations; the UK is also now actively using iPad to train its soldiers.”

A lovely Apple tribute,

Kevin Rose snaps photo of Steve Jobs leaving Pizza place in San Francisco

I love the Macelope,

everyone’s got Apple fans figured out. iPad owners are jerks and IT’S ALL JUST A BIG CULT!

I want this sign,

Poor monkey boy,

Fox finally figures this out,

Quain reports, “So if they wanted to, could Apple devotees actually create an official Apple religion? After all, many believe in the power of the iPhone and millions of consumers would buy any product the company introduces, flaws and all.”

Via Minimal Mac,

Although my conscious mind knows the truth, my dreams have me convinced these pictures are taken just for me.

From Stuff Christians Like on Pastors who read sermon notes from an iPad,

2. It’s distracting.

The brilliant thing about Apple is that they turn every Apple owner into a disciple and advertisement almost instantly. That’s the point of the bright white symbol on my laptop. It’s a lighthouse of branding to anyone who sees it. Same with carrying around the iPad during a sermon. Whether you mean it or not, you’re advertising Apple during the sermon and you can’t tell me there aren’t people in the crowd that spend more time watching you engage with the iPad than they do thinking about your message. That product is captivating to watch in action and when you scroll through Bible verses with a swipe of your fingers, people think about Apple, not necessarily the verse.

Lastly, save money using apps on your iPhone to afford an iPad, I used SnapTell to get $10 off this lovely camera bag at BestBuy.

Apparently Mayor Bloomberg is seen walking around with his iPad “night and day” — he even had it when he hooked up with UK Queen Elizabeth.

As one commenter said, “She’s holding it wrong.”

iwant these things
iLoop Stand

We love you too Steve!

is your iPhone hurtin’, put an ‘aid on its boo-boo

via iPhone Savior, a Sucky Stand,

via The Small Wave, is it possible for any design to be uglier, or is this the pinnacle?

Via Minimal Mac

I do a little dance when Steve Job successfully removes another wire from under my desk.

Via MacRumors

In a new survey released today, Fortune has chosen Apple CEO Steve Jobs as the smartest CEO in tech. The survey drew upon 100 advisers and experts for nominations in ten different categories, who were then evaluated based on their perceived intelligence as well as their impact over recent timeframes.

LOLOLOL!

Restoration Of ‘Star Spangled Banner’ Uncovers Horrifying New Verses

Expect thoughtful articles about Apple’s hardware and software. My wife often tells me, “Your voice changes when you talk about Apple. Your whole body posture changes. You become a different person.” That person will be here every day.

Apple Ad FAIL

Apple store openings are always exciting,

Via The Small Wave quoting tibp.com,

Like any company, Google is open in what doesn’t make them money and proprietary as heck in what does. Android is open (under the Apache license, not GPL — which should give the philosophical FOSSies pause) but Google certainly hasn’t opened their search or AdWords platforms. Likewise Apple open sources WebKit (which Google uses for their browser) and OpenCL and Grand Central and FaceTime, but keeps their crown jewels equally closed. So enough already with the open stuff. You give me free services so you can mine my data, I sell my soul to you to use them. Deal. Just don’t insult my intelligence while doing it.

This magnificent frankenshirt creation is equal parts Steve Jobs, Apple Rainbow Logo and the androgynous David Bowie as seen on his 1973 “Aladdin Sane” album cover. It’s like Lady Gaga and Steve Jobs birthed a baby tee.

And for the latest in feminine enhancements,

Finally the Island of Apple-Banished Toys

IPad coming to church altars with daily missal app

An Italian priest has developed an application that will let priests celebrate Mass with an iPad on the altar instead of the regular Roman missal.

The Rev. Paolo Padrini, a consultant with the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Social Communications, said Friday the free application will be launched in July in English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Latin.

A Steve sighting, IN THE WILD!

Lines, lines, and more lines

An apple-ly marriage proposal,

Someone needs to die for this,

Here is the nearly perfect brilliant article.

Yet in it, he says,

Every religion in the world knows this, from the Catholics to the Scientologists. It’s the oldest trick in the book. You create some uncertainty, you put people at risk — you tell them they’re going to hell, or whatever — and then you hold out the answer.

No matter how ridiculous your answer may be — like, the one about the galactic ruler Xenu, or the one where God turns into a bird and flies down to earth and impregnates a virgin — people will accept it.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I think making fun of religion is fair game. In fact, I am a huge fan of the Wittenburg Door magazine, (so much so I was interviewed by The Door in 2005). But the key to great satire is to use the truth. And “God turns into a bird and flies down to earth and impregnates a virgin” is just so stupidly a falsehood as to what Christians actually believe, well, it is angerifying (yep, new word). Perhaps Dan knows this and doesn’t care. Perhaps Dan doesn’t know it. Perhaps Dan knows this but thought that twisting it around a bit made for better satire. In any of those scenarios, it ruined what could have been a perfect piece. You see, I don’t care that he mocked religion by comparing what it teaches to a marketing scheme. Honestly, to a nonbeliever, that is one way it could be viewed. Of course I think it is incorrect, but that is a subjective opinion and fair game. But as to objective facts… Big Bird did not get busy with Mama Mary in Christian theology. He could have mocked Christianity just fine with what it really teaches. Christianity itself teaches that its doctrines will be viewed as foolishness to the world, so we can’t very well get pissed off when they are. (Well some of us can, but I am not a big fan with people with sticks up their rear).

And a brilliant observation from comments, which perhaps highlights the second reason that nothing that Lyons writes will ever be completely brilliant:

danny, we all liked you better when you actually liked steve jobs. while a troll is interesting in a comments section (maybe) it doesn’t work so well for a blog. i’ll bet your page views show this to be true, don’t they.

you should smoke a joint and do some meditation on this. try to make peace with the steve.

He is a troll with benefits. He writes well. He is magnificently sharp-witted. But a troll in a Gucci is still a troll.

PS: I agree with Lyons over the iPhone 4 antennae issue. I think Apple is on the edge of a Vista and needs to be very very careful and lose the smug.